Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
