I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
