The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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