I want to walk on stilts...naked
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
