I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
