Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize