Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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