will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
