shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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