you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
