I look better un-naked...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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