Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What did we do last night that was yellow?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
