This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
