i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize