We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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