she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she told me i tasted like america
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
