I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
