Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
