just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
