Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
