we have officially lost it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
