I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I look excited, but its just a facade.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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