come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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