And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
