i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
