Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just want to make out with him forever
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
