My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wish you could order shots online.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
