I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Watching her eat just hurts me
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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