areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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