ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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