he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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