so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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