her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
