I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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