tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
