soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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