It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
