I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
