Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
