I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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