it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
