pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
