Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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