So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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