I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have post one night stand depression
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