idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
