I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
