they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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