Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
