It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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