i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
