it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
