Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
