are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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