I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
