what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
