If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
