Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
