On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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