its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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