just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
