I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize