You work out of a Hotel?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
