Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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