I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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