He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
