Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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